What’s the Spanish for “what do you think I am?” And why do some people in Spain again think that I could be conned?
A few years ago I received a letter from the El Gordo Spanish Sweepstake Lottery S.A., whatever that was, telling me that I had won a share of $960,000 in a lottery for which I hadn’t actually bought a ticket. (See the blogpost “Million Dollars – Maybe” of 10 November, 2010.)
Today I have received a letter from a Luis Davis, of Calle Polo Medina, No4, 3B, CQ 304 Murcia, Espana, tel. 00-34-631126213. He describes himself as an attorney with EDL LEGAL, representing Mrs Rosemary Curry, a business magnate, who died “along with her family in a car accident along Madrid express road” in December 2004. Before this tragic event she had fortuitously deposited $9.5 million with a finance company in Spain. (Now wouldn’t you think that a business woman with $9.5 million would a) have the sense to make a proper Will including contingencies and b) have a lot of eager heirs? But never mind, let’s move on.)
Senor Davis tells me that he has been searching for any relatives to whom he could give the money, without success. So he has trawled through public records to find someone with the same last name and would like me to stand as next of kin to the unfortunate Mrs Curry. Wow - how lucky am I! (But - questions: how many other people with the same last name have received letters from Senor Davis? Do I have to share with all of them?) If I agree, Senor Davis will “prepare every legal document that will assist [my] claim, and facilitate the release of the fund to [me].” He adds that the transaction is 100% risk-free and legal, because he has kindly “worked out all the modalities to complete the transaction successfully” so would I please reply to his private email address or telephone him for more information.
Oh double wow! I can’t see any problems with any of that, can you? Senor Davis clearly has everything covered. My goodness, I’m about to become rich! But I see there’s a small catch. Once the fund is released to me, he proposes that we share it, 50/50. But still, half of $9.5 million isn’t bad, I could scrape along on that, for a while anyway. It’s a lot better than what the measly El Gordo lot offered.
No thanks, Senor. You must think I’m a halfwit if you think I might believe that load of codswallop, and an idiot and a crook if you think I might go along with what would clearly be fraud on a grand scale if I agreed to your stupid proposal.