Friday, February 14, 2014

MAIL ORDER UPDATE


As promised, here’s the update on the mail order catalogue saga. The courier has arrived. The parcel has been opened. And on the whole it has not disappointed.

Oh, those of ye who showed little faith: it’s true I did not win the $25,000, which is a shame. However I did win the quartz watch. It’s fine: a little clunky perhaps but if I didn’t already have a watch I’d certainly wear it. The food chopper is about the right size for one or two people, feels sturdy enough to cope with anything I might use it for, and is neat and unfussy. The diamond nail file is just what I’ve wanted for years.

The handbags now: they are what tempted me to look at the catalogue more closely in the first place because the strap on my only, very old bag had come away. Loath them as I do, a handbag is an absolute necessity when going about, so I had to have a new one. And there was the offer I couldn’t refuse: two for the price of one.

So: one black and one pale beige, go-with-anything bags have arrived. Just the thing for someone who simply needs some way to carry stuff. These have adjustable straps and pockets both inside and out that I can put things in and then forget which pockets they’re in. And the bonus free small leather pouch – well, I’m sure I’ll find a use for it. Probably put something in it and then put it in one of the pockets of one of the handbags, and then forget where I put it and throw a tantrum.

Trouble is, the parcel came with another tempting catalogue which shouted CONGRATULATIONS! at me because I had definitely WON one of the prizes shown on the front cover: cash, or a ruby and diamond bangle or a garnet pendant. Don’t want either of those – just the cash would be good, please. As an aside, how bizarre that you can win a prize but you don't get it unless you order more stuff.  

However, and more sinisterly, the new catalogue was over-full of things aimed at the elderly and infirm – non-slip mats for the shower, comfort cushions, telephone amplifiers, pill organisers - and twinkly, shimmery items like polyester wind-spinners and glowing butterflies. I began to feel quite frail and quavery. What do they imagine that they know about me?

No, enough is enough. I am content.  

3 comments:

  1. haha .. glad I didn't open my new catalogue - targeted advertising huh!


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  2. I'm so pleased you followed up your previous post, and I'm glad your purchases are a success. And a watch too! I suggest that you don't even open the new catalogue, in case you get irresistibly tempted by those adorable barking doggies or cute frogs.

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  3. But - I now have TWO handbags and you know what will happen? The wallet will be in one, the mobile in the other, my car keys who knows where ...

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