Wednesday, December 31, 2014

FROM A GRAMMAR NAZI’S NOTEBOOK – PART 2


As you may have guessed, I have been at a bit of a loss for something to contribute to the blog lately. My mind is a blank, my head in a whirl, so much has happened in the past year and I have been lurching from drama to angst and back. Did it show? I hope not. Some doors closed, but others opened. The blog has been both a respite and a distraction. So here are a few more examples of howlers caught by eagle-eyed grammar police – just think of them as stocking-fillers for grown-ups.

Completing the launching ceremony, the Admiral's lovely daughter smashed a bottle of champagne over her stern as she slid gracefully down the slipway.

The marriage suffered a setback in 1965 when the husband was killed by the wife.

If you asked six friends to name the commonest birds in Britain, the odds are that nine out of ten of them would say the sparrow.

Mr George Dobbs is very proud of the fact that he walked 50 kilometres on a sausage sandwich at the weekend.

Hammers:  Bulk purchase.  Would suit home handymen with claw heads

Sir:  The first time I heard the cuckoo was on April 12th.  Flying overhead from the garden, my husband heard it before that date.

You could have a portrait of yourself or your child taken at the convenience of your own home.

Amid the cheers of their many friends in the farming community, the bride and groom cut the wedding cake made by Mrs Robertson, shaped like a haystack on stilts.

A sub-committee is to consider the question of alterations at the village hall so that the toilets can be used for football matches.

Drama at the concert:  The violinist bravely extinguished the blaze while the conductor pulled the orchestra through a difficult passage.

Headline in local paper:  Peer's seat burns all night. Ancient pile destroyed.

A fixture that has brought nothing but defeat since 1949 was won at last by the shooting of two football league forwards.

She sat huddled in a chair covering her ears with crossed legs.

The colonel scurried up a tree while the dog attacked the bear and killed him with four well-placed bullets.

Three shots rang out. Two men fell dead, and the third went through his hat.

The importance of a comma:  A roading contractor who combines business with a passion for wildlife last evening, presented the NZ branch of the World Wildlife Fund with a cheque for $17,500.

2 comments:

  1. I'm enjoying these. As for angst - it doesn't show. Happy New Year.

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  2. Thank you Judith - I used to collect these howlers, they were useful to make a point. And Happy New Year to you too - keep up the blogging, I always check!

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